Rules for When the In-Laws Visit

There are a few things we need to discuss. ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌

Today we're giving you a little taste of Elevator+. In addition to more picks, no ads, and full archive access, members get original writing from our editor, Lanny. Here's one we published on Sunday.   From Lanny My in-laws are here. Staying with us for the weekend. These are the rules I had printed out and passed around. The east bathroom toilet is out of order. Please do not use it.   Do not lick the leaves of the entryway plant. It will kill you.   You are permitted to tell only two stories about people we’ve never met and will never meet. One if it involves a tragic death.   If you remember giving us that “Live, Laugh, Love” thing, do not be offended when you don’t see it hanging anywhere in our home. The offense belongs to us for having to pretend to love it when we opened it.   You are not allowed to take awful candid photos of us to send to your friends. Failure to comply will result in an air mattress instead of the guest bed on your next stay.   We will be dining out this weekend. There will be no asking the server if they can make something that’s not on the menu.   You may request songs or albums for background music, and I will play them. But for every one of yours, we play two of mine. Because the house always wins.   There will be no watching things on your phone. We already know you did not bring headphones, and your hearing is too bad to watch whatever it is you’re watching at a volume that isn’t at risk of upsetting the neighbors.   When I say I’m happy to do the dishes, what I really mean is that I need a little break from all this. So please don’t insist on helping me with any chores.   If you see me grinding up leaves with a mortar and pestle, do not think anything of it.   If you have comments about the thermostat, please feel free to keep them to yourself.   On your last day here, we will not be offended if you wake up and leave. Rather than linger around.   If you have questions about any of this, please hesitate to ask.   I repeat. The east bathroom toilet is out of order. Please do not use it. —Lanny     This piece was published in Elevator+ on Sunday. Join Elevator+ for more from Lanny, an ad-free Elevator, an upgraded Weekend Agenda, and full access to the archives. Join Elevator+ →   @2026 Rotary Digital 300 Witherspoon St Suite 201 Princeton NJ 08542     Preferences  |  Unsubscribe